Let’s face it. I really don’t know much about what holistic means so I went and looked it up. Doesn’t seem right to recommend or not this type of treatment to anyone if I don’t even know what it means myself so here’s what the dictionary calls it:
It is relating to the the medical consideration of the complete person, physically and psychologically, in the treatment of a disease.
And regarding the origin: Holistic
I arrived at my appointment mid afternoon and was greeted with a hug and we sized each other up for a moment trying to draw from the memory banks a distant snippet of time we knew each other. He’s much leaner and softer in appearance. A stark contrast from the bulked up body builder I’d remembered, but one look in his eyes and there was that familiar, warmth and genuine kindness I’d banked on would was still there.
I unloaded my list of complaints and warned him he had his work cut out for him. He didn’t seem phased one bit. He tested for several allergies/ailments and suggested I avoid the following until my stomach and weight are back in order (he might’ve meant for good, but that’s how I heard it ;): coffee, soy (unless it’s Non-GMO), dairy and gluten. We talked about how I eat and that my lifelong habit and interest in making dinner an event that lasts hours would need to be curbed. So, I promised to attempt to make lunch the greatest meal of the day and dinner be more like a light picnic (except those rare occasions of course).
The testing involved a lot of QnA and holding onto this moistened brass looking thing while he he held the tip of a brass looking pointer to different areas of my body and watching the lines on a graph on his laptop move about. I know many are skeptical of this kind of thing but, it did read “bad” for every area I was concerned with and a couple more and so I’ve got to put stock in it. When we were done with all the testing I got up on what looked like a massage table, bare feet and on my back and though he didn’t announce it, I knew the acupuncture was next so, I closed my eyes and tried to relax. He had a brilliant way of pressing a finger on the spot where the needle goes and slipping it in directly after, so that I didn’t even feel the (overly anticipated) prick of the needle. The thing I remember most of the experience was that my toes were all warm and tingly and I felt incredibly relaxed afterward (even more so than after an hour of massage). He also did some energy work, but it’s easier to describe as a type of massage around the back of my neck which is always tight and when he pressed down on my shoulders I heard him say under his breathe “What’s going on here?” and I laughed because it was so true. For the past who knows how long I’ve had my shoulders rolling forward in a boxer’s pose, prepared for a fight…
After a couple hours of testing and QnA, he concluded that my thyroid was not only functioning but, in overdrive to make up for my worn out adrenal glands (just so you know I was just smiling and nodding through all of this and had to look it all up later. I hadn’t a fekn clue what adrenal glands were for). He also said my liver wasn’t functioning too well (and yes, I totally looked at him doe eyed and feigned surprise as I totally fibbed about just how much celebratory wine I’d been consuming). My body was also clearly struggling to properly digest foods and needed a boost, big time in that area.
Here are all the things he has me taking:
Anu – Professional grade Mineral water (smells like chlorine) – helps the body resist bad bacteria, encourage good bacteria to grow and helps revitalize cells.
Pro-biotic Pearls – helps promote healthy digestion
Gentle Drainage Drops – Relieves fatigue and water retention
Enzycore – a vegetable enzyme that helps optimize digestion
Drenamin – promotes healthy functioning of adrenal glands
Betafood – promotes healthy liver and gallbladder function
Plus, he highly recommend moving my body for at least 30 minutes every day. At least as much as my body will tolerate right now..
So, here’s a typical day for me and my supplements: I get up, I go straight to the bathroom counter, grab 2 pro-biotic pearls and wash em down with that Anu (stinky) water, then I turn to the little dropper bottle of Gentle Drainage and pour 4 drops on my tongue. I head over to the kitchen to put the kettle on for either green or earl gray tea (and try to pretend I like it more than coffee) while I make some (gluten free) oatmeal and pour almond milk over it. Just before I eat it, I take 2 Enzycore, 2 Betafood, and 1 Drenamin and wash them down with Alkaline water I got from the Carlsbad Mineral Springs.
Sometime before noon I get outside for a short walk to soak in the sun’s natural vitamin D while trying to even out the tan face with the glow in the dark, pasty white legs (because I drive a convertible and because I’m too self conscious about my weight to wear shorts in public, that’s why. That, and it looks pretty precarious walking around with a super tan upper and super white lower body…) when lunchtime hits and it’s back to the Enzycore-Betafood-Drenamin trio (because you’re supposed to take them with every meal) before something somewhat healthy (and dairy, soy, gluten free) gets consumed. About 2-3 days a week I’ll head to the gym around 1pm for 30 minutes on the elliptical machine to sweat out more of the bad stuff and 20 minutes on the hydro-massage table (to improve circulation). Then, around 3pm a timer goes off on my phone and I grab the Gentle Drainage and put 4 drops on my tongue (gd I’m exhausted just writing this~). If I didn’t go to the gym then I hop on my bicycle and ride down to the marina and back (about 2 miles) or I’ll run errands on my bike or at least park far away from the stores I need to go to and pretend it was a great workout and shouldn’t I just be so proud of myself. Around 6pm the Simpsons come on TV which is my cue it’s time to make a light dinner wash down the trio with cranberry water (which I always do because I’m still terrified of getting another UTI). Exciting life yes? Yeah, these are just the things I do in accordance to Frank. Remember, I’ve got a holos (whole) team working on me…
It’s been 3 weeks now since I started this routine and I will say that I feel better. I know it’s a slow process so I’m not expecting any Hollywood-style quick fixes, but one thing that really stands out is that thick layer of whatever under my skin that I used to call walrus fat is gone :-). I now can see veins in my hands, the indents of my knuckles and my fingers don’t look like sausages anymore. As one friend says “you’re skin looks so much better. Before, it was so tight I was afraid it would pop”. Nice.
I had headaches the first week I went without coffee, but that’s subsided. I do really like tea so it’s not such a sacrifice and I do allow myself a latte here and there (with rice or almond milk of course). I will never be an extremist. As my BFF, Miche, would say “You’re only extreme about not being extreme about anything”. I did just tried a latte with rice milk in it the other day (which I probably never would have tried otherwise) and I really liked it. I know that specialty shops carry Non GMO soy products and I’ll try them down the road, but I’m a girl on a budget right now, so I’d rather just focus on what my neighborhood market has to offer.
Anyone who knows me knows that the hardest things to say goodbye to were cheese n butter. I love them. I covet Irish cream butter and Vermont cheddar like you wouldn’t believe, but I had to take this all seriously so I said good bye to both for now and (surprise, surprise) I’m no longer constantly clearing my throat. I knew it would be, but I still marvel at it. I keep thinking back to an interview I saw on late night TV with Mary Lou Henner (from the show Taxi) who was almost evangelistic against the evils of dairy products. I think she even wrote a book on it. I remember not long after I saw an interview with Tony Danza (also from the show Taxi) who was asked what he thought of her cheese hating and he laughed and smiled and called her a bit of a nut. I’d side with Tony any day (and not just because he’s a cheeseburger loving hunk), but proof is in the pudding (or lack there of) I’m afraid.
Where was I…oh, right. I didn’t know the trio was working until this afternoon when I cheated and had pita bread (gluten) stuffed with tuna salad (dairy) and it’s been several hours and no painfully bloated tummy (well, a little bit, but nothing like before), so I’d definitely call that progress~ I’m not going to press my luck and make that a daily habit but, it’s nice to know that once in a while I could indulge without wreaking havoc on my mending process.
I have a follow-up soon with Frank where I’m expecting (believe it or not, hoping) there’ll be more acupuncture and then I’ll ask him what the needles are specifically for (and remember what he says this time), so I can give you a more detailed report on it and what I think it’s doing for me besides warming my toes and making me feel like I just had an awesome spa day.
Till the next noteworthy moment…Cheers to Life~
P.S. I know this is already long enough, but my friend Kelly pointed me to an indie film this morning that pretty much sums up why I’m willing to be open to a more holistic path on the Road to Recovery. It’s called “May I be Frank“. Tears streaming down my face just watching the trailer…